Reboot

Does anybody ever have those days where you just want the opposite of what people want to give you?

If someone wants to hang out, they kind of turn into that one person you definitely do not want to see.

If someone says something, you disagree or say something the exact opposite just to screw with them.

It's almost a cynical state of mind. just go against everything that you usually wouldn't mind.

but its soothing.

its almost like how you hold in the power button on your computer. and in those short 6 seconds, it seems like you are just murdering your PC. I dont know about you, but i always see it as almost as i am strangling my poor laptop, as its glowing screen stares scared in my eyes and then...

pop.

its off. and when you turn it back on, everything is good again. you start over

but for those short 6 seconds, you turned against your poor computer, or in this case, my life.

for a short time, i turn from my life and just want to do everything different. just for a little while. then when it is over, just like when the computer is off, i just want things to be like they once were. so i "turn it back on".

and sometimes, it's just too late for that. some people are too mad that i "held the button".

or i hurt some people by the things i said as i was restarting.

so in my own selfish state of mind, my own selfish act of trying to set my own life straight, i may hurt other people along the way.

but which is better?

hurting yourself to help others?

or helping yourself, but hurting others?

obviously my mind turns to the "hurting yourself" option, because others benefit from it in the end. and that is what i believe is the right choice.

but what if during all that time, you don't restart your computer, you don't clear off all of the programs and virus's and applications, and your computer (a.k.a: yourself) just gets mudded up and useless, all because you just dont want to hurt the feelings or relationships you have.

i dont really know where i am going with this.

i am more or less just venting a random idea i had as i was restarting my computer

i applied it to my life and see how it could work...

i just found it to be interesting.