Nostalgia

What a fickle thing, right?

Im currently going through my old xanga account, looking at the bigger posts of my life. Some of the bigger events in my life in blog form. And man has it been a ride.

Some quotes from my old blog.

“life sucks and then you die.

yay for heaven” - Sunday, 28 June 2009

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“so i was watching a movie the other night, and i realized that… all i wanted from high school was a group of friends that i hung with the whole time. and who were in my class, at my school. my age.
and they were the group of friends that ive been with since kindergarten. and that ive been with the whole 4 years of high school, to where i can look back, and remember inside jokes, and laugh about old times.
and i could have had that… but i decided at my sophomore year that i was going to be above my classmates and not drink, not party.

and i look back, and that was a good decision in the long run prbly…
but what did i miss out on?” - Monday, 23 June 2008

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“i just dont know...

i've just been getting by.

hanging with dave john and kyle. playing games, being a nerd

and its been fun, dont get me wrong

but what am i going to do next year?

freshman year, i partied..

sophomore year, i had shaq and kellin (seniors)

this year ive had john dave and kyle.. (seniors)

what about next year?

will the pressure be too much, to where i start to party again?

or can i find a group that will come to me for once.

instead of me always trying to go somewhere else

ive always had to call and set something up...

no one ever calls me to ask, "hey, wanna hang out?" or "we shud do something this weekend."

its always me setting everything up..

maybe im just too quick to do everything, and never give them a chance...

i dont know..

i still dont have a real friend to confide in, to share problems truthfully, to always hang with..

hopefully college will bring that...

hopefully.” - Wednesday, 26 March 2008

that was me. That was who I was. This blog, this xanga archive I have… its full of nostalgia.

It goes back to January of 2005 for pete’s sake!

Im looking back at my old posts, and im seeing what all I went through.. and what all I thought I was going through. I look at all my old rantings, all my old ravings, and I see how trivial they were. But yet the underlying reasons were deep seeded, and had real meanings. Like abandonment, and acceptance, and depression. And looking at them now I know that I have found the solution for all of those problems.

And that’s Jesus.

I really never realized exactly what it meant to have a personal relationship with Him, until now. And I see that now. And I see what I was lacking then

I look back at those old high school posts, and I look at my life now, and ive pretty much solved all of those problems. And ive solved them all with Jesus.

I don’t have much to say tonight because im still reeling over some of my old stuff. But I am going to leave with this

I don’t like where I am now, but I am a long ways from where I was