A Heart That I Do Not Possess

One thing that I keep realizing as this year was drawing to a close was my heart.
The physical human heart has nothing to do with what we describe it as being.
It cannot be simply broken, or stolen, or given to someone.
It stays locked within our chests, steadily beating, pumping our blood through our bodies.

And that is where the Heart that we talk about theoretically starts to come into existence.
Since the heart keeps us alive, it is at the center of us, and it is essential to our being, is where it gains it's metaphorical importance.

So what now?

Well, back to my original thought, I have been thinking about my heart.
And where my heart is and has been through the year of college I just experienced.

And after talking with many people, and to God, about the importance of keeping the mission statement of Campus Crusade, I have realized where my heart isn't.

I have realized the heart that I do not possess.

And that heart, is the heart of evangelism.

Every single Christian in existence is called to evangelize. we are all called to reach out to our peers, to our family, even to complete strangers, to complete the Great Commission.

Matthew 28:18-20
Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (emphasis added)

I was trying to wrap my mind around that.
I always used the excuse, "Well some people are called to reach out to the masses, and some people are called to reach out to close friends"

and that is simply a lie.

We are all called to reach out to everybody we come into contact with.


Now imagine yourself at a refugee camp. there are people everywhere, in crowded spaces.
you see their sunken faces, exposed ribs, and shabby rags for clothing.
they say nothing, but when you look in their eyes, you see the pain.
you see them practically screaming for help
for saving.

this is how Jesus sees the un-believing.
not as some swanky actor that doesn't "need" God.
but as a broken, suffering, and devastated refugee. A refugee of sin.

I dont know about you, but if i saw someone I know looking like a homeless man from Sudan, I would do something about it.

and this is how we should view evangelism. not as something we do to lead someone to God, so they can better their already good lives.
but instead to see God save them from a life of suffering and death.

And to me, this means I have to have a heart for evangelism.
No.
I NEED to have a heart OF evangelism.

If our heart is our core, our life-source, the center of us, then if we have a heart to reach out amongst our fellow humans, it should be the only thing we strive to do.
My heart needs to be pumping with fervor to bring the word of God to every tribe, tongue, and nation. If that is applied to someone on the street, someone in my classes, my neighbor, my floor, my hall, my school, my nation, or the whole world.
I need to be constantly desiring to share Jesus with everyone.

and that means I have to leave my comfort zone.
not it's not, If i have to leave my comfort zone, so be it.

I will be leaving it
we all are, because we are not on this earth to be comfortable.
we are here to spread Jesus, and glorify Him


So if this means I leave the "Bowen Hall Family" then I will.
If God calls me to go to another dorm, I will do it.
If he even calls me to leave WSC, I will do it.

Reluctantly, but I will.

It's Time

Ever since ive been going to Wayne State College, ive been attending Concord E-Free Church.

and ive never went to a different church.

and i saw nothing wrong with that.

i got everything i wanted from attending Concord. Worship, Conviction, Instruction, and Comfort in faith.

so i decided to visit Journey Christian Church a couple sundays ago.

and this is what i gathered.

The message was about something along the lines of God's glory. the thing is, it was so topical, it made me sick.

it was almost as if the pastor was simply talking about God. just a message that was telling you things about God. and how cool he is, and things he can do.

but it felt like it never went further than that.

it spoke of His holiness, and what that meant, but never mentioned how that applies to how we should follow him.

and this is nothing against Journey Church.. but it just felt like i was being fed milk.

milk for a new believer. simple truths and ideals that we need to know and understand before we are able to move on to solid food.

milk makes us feel safe, it is comforting. it doesnt upset, it doesnt change our lives, it just keeps us stable.

but solid food builds up our bodies, it gives us nutrients that milk cannot provide.

yeah we may eat something wrong, so our body just processes it like junk food, and we feel the repercussions from that. but then we know not to each such foods again.

but if we were to stay on milk, we would never feel those wrongs. we would always be in our safe little bubble.

but we would also never grow.

It's time to ween ourselves off the milk, and move on to some Man Steak.

On personalities and friends.

why are there some people we dont get along with? why are there people that get on our nerves?

is it just that we get rubbed the wrong way?

us it that person's fault? or is it our fault that we don't understand that person?

do we not get along with people because we see something in them that they have, and we lack?

or that they have a personality flaw that we also posses. such as if I am impatient, and someone i am with is also being impatient, i get impatient due to their impatience.

why did Jesus get along with every person, or at least try to? He obviously had enemies.

but why did those enemies hate Him?

because of who He was. That's why.

but Jesus still loved them.

He still loved his enemies.

He never talked bad about them.

so why should we?

Reboot

Does anybody ever have those days where you just want the opposite of what people want to give you?

If someone wants to hang out, they kind of turn into that one person you definitely do not want to see.

If someone says something, you disagree or say something the exact opposite just to screw with them.

It's almost a cynical state of mind. just go against everything that you usually wouldn't mind.

but its soothing.

its almost like how you hold in the power button on your computer. and in those short 6 seconds, it seems like you are just murdering your PC. I dont know about you, but i always see it as almost as i am strangling my poor laptop, as its glowing screen stares scared in my eyes and then...

pop.

its off. and when you turn it back on, everything is good again. you start over

but for those short 6 seconds, you turned against your poor computer, or in this case, my life.

for a short time, i turn from my life and just want to do everything different. just for a little while. then when it is over, just like when the computer is off, i just want things to be like they once were. so i "turn it back on".

and sometimes, it's just too late for that. some people are too mad that i "held the button".

or i hurt some people by the things i said as i was restarting.

so in my own selfish state of mind, my own selfish act of trying to set my own life straight, i may hurt other people along the way.

but which is better?

hurting yourself to help others?

or helping yourself, but hurting others?

obviously my mind turns to the "hurting yourself" option, because others benefit from it in the end. and that is what i believe is the right choice.

but what if during all that time, you don't restart your computer, you don't clear off all of the programs and virus's and applications, and your computer (a.k.a: yourself) just gets mudded up and useless, all because you just dont want to hurt the feelings or relationships you have.

i dont really know where i am going with this.

i am more or less just venting a random idea i had as i was restarting my computer

i applied it to my life and see how it could work...

i just found it to be interesting.

And here we go again...

Thoughts On Why I Suck

Here we go.

i am so selfish.

(i originally spelled that selphish... i dont know why)

i am so concerned with my own life. with my surroundings. with my comfort zone.

its freaking ridiculous

i hate being a hypocrite.

i spend my time talking about how the believers on this campus need to evangelize more, when i barely do it myself.

i tell people to read their bible more, without reading myself.

who am i to guide someone else's life?

(more on that later)

Considering where i am on my walk with Christ at this moment, it is out of the question to have me being a mentor to anybody. I need to get so many things in my life on track. My attitude right now is apathetic towards personal growth. i don't feel like i need to be in God's word everyday, when i know that i really do need to.

But then again, maybe i am walking closer than i think i am, and i need to just change my attitude towards everything. it is a bit of a slippery slope to be on, but it is one i fall on a lot.

but whenever i do, God always brings me out of it better. he uses my stubbornness so it can be broken, and he uses my brokenness to rebuild. and i truly appreciate Him for doing that. because we both know that i need to get slapped around (figuratively).

and is that God testing me to be a leader?

For some silly absurd reason, i feel like i am being called to lead. i don't know where, or when, or how. but i feel that way.

maybe this is God telling me that I need to prepare to lead at some point in time. Because God tests His leaders.

What it probably is, is God showing me how NOT ready i am to lead.

Leadership is such a finicky thing. In my eyes, there are three types of leaders.

1. People who really want to lead, and have passion for it, but shouldn't due to some reason. whether that is their personal desires, ability, or influence.

2. People who can lead, and would be okay doing it, and probably should, but don't because they either

a: think someone else would do a better job

b: too scared

c: just don't want to lead

3. People who are genuinely good leaders, and are humble about it.

(the third one is kinda lame, but true)

Idk, thats how i see things as of 1:54am on april 18th.

that will probably change

i have no idea where i fall in those categories.

but what makes a leader? who should be leading the body of believers here at WSC? Well that answer is easy, Jesus. But how do we let Him lead? How does Jesus lead a body of believers?

Through the believers praying, and through Him speaking to those believers.

i dont know where i am going with this.

but the new servant team was "released" this week. and i feel like they are ready, willing, and able to serve our savior and lead this body of believers, Campus Crusade for Christ at WSC, to do His will. and i believe that this years staff will be ample enough to be able to get things done. I'm not saying last years wasn't, or the years before that, but i find them to be quite alright. and that is all attributed to prayer.

prayer is such a powerful tool and shield and sword and vessel and just about everything ever.

i mean, how cool is it that we can LITERALLY TALK to our Savior? the God and Creator of the universe!

ITS FREAKING AWESOME.

(thats how cool it is)

im sorry this post was really random, but i will refine my thoughts later.

P.S: This is what the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.

Publicity

If I learned one thing about giving up Facebook for 2 months, its that it doesn't matter. Facebook drama is right below Jr. High drama.

i used to worry about having witty facebook status', a cool profile picture, how many friends i have, how many people post on my wall. i used to be really really wrapped up in that kind of stuff. and thats not how it should be.

facebook should just be a site to stay connected with people you can't see in person at the moment, or at all. not divulge your entire life.

For instance, I used to post status' that pretty much make people ask me whats wrong. i used to just want the attention. things such as "Ugh i cant believe this is happening to me!" or "..." or "Just wants to go cry".

things of that nature.

and you know what, all i was doing was trying to get attention from people. i wanted to see who cared about me. and in all actuality, the people who really cared about me didnt look at my facebook page. they looked at me, at my life, at my actions. they looked at me, not my facebook.

and i guess this is more of a rant than a blog post, but if youve ever seen my old blog, there are many-a-posts just like this one.

People do not need to know what is going on in your life at every moment. That is what Jesus if for. Pray to God about your problems, and struggles, and about your life if you are so worried. dont share it with the internet hoping to get some sort of outcome.

that is one huge thing i had to deal with. i always went to people on the internet before i went to Christ. and even if i did go to him, it was only because i felt obligated to. and with that attitude i never really felt like he was going to do anything.

why would God, the creator and master of the universe, care about me and my problems?

why?

because He loves us!

and we have to learn to truly accept that.

and that right there is something that i still struggle with.

and as far as venting, or posting your life on the internet, that is why they invented blogs. if you really want to share your feelings, put it out in public, but dont necessarily shove it on the facebook world.

there is a difference between honestly asking for help, or advice, or reconciliation, and just seeking attention.

and i was just seeking attention until i gave facebook up, and effectively gave up all social internet contact. and it, no matter how lame it sounds, changed my life. and changed it for the better.

instead, i go back to the days of old. where i posted my life, as according to xanga, for all the internet to see. but i only gave it out to a few close friends. and that is what i am doing now.

only close friends will read this, and i am alright with that, because that is who is supposed to be reading this in the first place.

Until next time...

Thoughts Created In The Willow Bowl

Lyrics to No Worries, Today I'm Going To... :

Wait Wait Wait Wait a minute

Hold up

STOP

...The press

I woke up today without that 5 million pound boulder of stress on my chest and now I feel blessed and can rest.

Oh! to rest these weary extremities that have been inflicted with infirmities unseen or experienced by them before

So tell me, what does the future have in store?

I don't know

I'm just going to let today be today, I'm going to wake up this morning with a smile on my face, look in the mirror brush my teeth and not wrack my brain wondering weather shes going to call me or not because when a girl says "lets just be friends," what she really means is "I'm never going to talk to you again."

Accept it

Move on

I just did

And after that I'm going to put on my play clothes, go in the front yard and climb that pecan tree like I did last week, but this time I'm not going to get halfway up it and start debating weather morality is...

A social adaptation

A product of Evolution

Or put there, by God

I'm just going to climb the thing and have fun like I did when I was a kid

And after that I'm going to go to vertebrate zoology class and listen to my boring lifeless instructor talk about how there are 50 different species of minnow in Arkansas alone.

But I'll smile

Nod

SHOW INTEREST

Act interested

(because that really is interesting if you think about it. Think about it)

And then after that I'll go home and have lunch. The same ol' boring lunch again! Two more fricken' frozen Monterey jack bean and cheese burritos with a glass of distilled water and an Orange. But I'll give thanks that I do have food to eat because so many people don't

And after that Ill go to work and paint But I'm not going to paint that boring eggshell white on that old ladies wall like she requested...no, I'm not going to do it. I'm going to pretend I'm a juvenile Leonardo Da Vinci and paint a stick figure masterpiece of a young couple frolicking in a field of flowers with little butterflies and gophers popping up here and there. (I'm sure the old lady will appreciate it later in life)

And after that, I'm going to have dinner with my Paw Paw and when he cries to me about how his arthritis is bad his own daughter rejects him he's sad, I'll put my arm around him and listen watch his old weary eyes glisten as he experiences my love for him.

And after that I'll go home, sit on the floor and start singing songs to the one that gave me this joy that I'm feeling, but it's more then just some fleeting feeling, it's eternal truth in which I am reeling.

And then at night I lay my head to rest without the slightest bit of fright or fret knowing I made the day the best I could

And that God truly is good.

- Bradley Hathaway

God IS good.

And ive been realizing recently just how good He is.

Take for instance my walk with Christ.

At some times in my life, like the start of the semester, I felt like I was walking pretty close with God. I was reading my bible multiple times a day, I was really trying my best to live for him… and then I got bogged down some how. Something in my life took the spot if where He should be.

But even if there wasn’t something that was blocking it, even if it was just myself getting a bad attitude. I still felt as if I wasn’t doing a good enough job. Like I wasn’t pleasing Him enough. And in a sense, that’s a good thing. Its good to feel like you need to do more for Him, because He has done everything for you. But if looking at your life and realizing all the things you aren’t doing, and getting in the attitude that you will never be able to do them, then that’s bad. And that’s where I am/was (Depending on when you read this).

And that’s when I look at my life and realize just how blessed I am.

Tonight, Scott and I sat in the willow bowl and talked from 12 to 2. We talked about many things, but one of those things was about being blessed. And as Americans, just how blessed we are, and we cannot take that for granted. And this just echoes Gods love for us. He doesn’t love us because he has to, he doesn’t HAVE to do anything. He loves us because he wants to. He loves us because he wants us to be with him. So we cannot take that for granted. We have to realize just how much that means; the magnitude of His Love.

And once we can grasp that even in the slightest, everything else doesn’t seem so bad.

Nostalgia

What a fickle thing, right?

Im currently going through my old xanga account, looking at the bigger posts of my life. Some of the bigger events in my life in blog form. And man has it been a ride.

Some quotes from my old blog.

“life sucks and then you die.

yay for heaven” - Sunday, 28 June 2009

-----------------------------------------

“so i was watching a movie the other night, and i realized that… all i wanted from high school was a group of friends that i hung with the whole time. and who were in my class, at my school. my age.
and they were the group of friends that ive been with since kindergarten. and that ive been with the whole 4 years of high school, to where i can look back, and remember inside jokes, and laugh about old times.
and i could have had that… but i decided at my sophomore year that i was going to be above my classmates and not drink, not party.

and i look back, and that was a good decision in the long run prbly…
but what did i miss out on?” - Monday, 23 June 2008

-----------------------------------------

“i just dont know...

i've just been getting by.

hanging with dave john and kyle. playing games, being a nerd

and its been fun, dont get me wrong

but what am i going to do next year?

freshman year, i partied..

sophomore year, i had shaq and kellin (seniors)

this year ive had john dave and kyle.. (seniors)

what about next year?

will the pressure be too much, to where i start to party again?

or can i find a group that will come to me for once.

instead of me always trying to go somewhere else

ive always had to call and set something up...

no one ever calls me to ask, "hey, wanna hang out?" or "we shud do something this weekend."

its always me setting everything up..

maybe im just too quick to do everything, and never give them a chance...

i dont know..

i still dont have a real friend to confide in, to share problems truthfully, to always hang with..

hopefully college will bring that...

hopefully.” - Wednesday, 26 March 2008

that was me. That was who I was. This blog, this xanga archive I have… its full of nostalgia.

It goes back to January of 2005 for pete’s sake!

Im looking back at my old posts, and im seeing what all I went through.. and what all I thought I was going through. I look at all my old rantings, all my old ravings, and I see how trivial they were. But yet the underlying reasons were deep seeded, and had real meanings. Like abandonment, and acceptance, and depression. And looking at them now I know that I have found the solution for all of those problems.

And that’s Jesus.

I really never realized exactly what it meant to have a personal relationship with Him, until now. And I see that now. And I see what I was lacking then

I look back at those old high school posts, and I look at my life now, and ive pretty much solved all of those problems. And ive solved them all with Jesus.

I don’t have much to say tonight because im still reeling over some of my old stuff. But I am going to leave with this

I don’t like where I am now, but I am a long ways from where I was

GO! FIGHT! WIN!

One thing that is the hardest thing for me to do is leave my comfort zone. I like being comfortable. I like my mountain dew, my tv, my call of duty, my friends, and my overall situation. And that easily filters into my walk with Christ. I get to a point in my life like, “im reading my bible every so often. I pray a lot. I hang out with Christian friends. I go to Christian things. What needs to change? Me and God are on good terms”.

And right when I start to get that mindset, is when things immediately turn south. My relationships with my friends get shallow because I’m not striving to learn about them and learn from them, and we stop talking about spiritual things to help each other out. My relationships in general get boring and shallow. My walk with Christ starts to feel like I am not asking him for answers because I think I already have them.

And this has many repercussions. In the case of friends, how am I supposed to make an impact on this campus if I never meet anybody new? If im always worried about my own personal growth, how can I help others? I mean, finding time to do personal quiet time is awesome and essential, but its not the only “spiritual” time you should be having.

Since I, and most of my friends, are all a part of Campus Crusade for Christ, should we be Crusading? Shouldn’t we be going forth out onto the campus and do work? Shouldn’t we be a task force for Christ? I know I am terrible at this. I barely meet new people, I barely have “spiritual” talks with non-believers. And that’s because im too comfortable. I have a great group of friends, and in my eyes, I think we all spend too much time together. I’m always either in my room with the roommates, in Kristens room, or in bowen hanging out. Im never outside of my comfort zone trying to reach people for Christ, and that is what Campus Crusade is all about. If im involved in Cru, I should be trying my hardest to put the gospel within arms reach of every student on campus. But I don’t. and im starting to find myself to be a hypocrite. (I am in more ways than just this subject, but that’s for another time)

So that’s why next year im pumped. We have an awesome group of guys living in bowen next year. And I believe that a lot of good things can come out of that. If we start up a small group between us, and get to know each other well like we are brothers, then we can branch out and include other guys on the floor or in the building. And if we can reach most of the willing in bowen, we can split up and do it all over again in smaller numbers, and really make an impact. And im so excited for that, and I really hope the other guys are too.

Like at crusade on Thursdays, I was looking out whilst I was up for the band. And I saw that everyone was sitting in their little groups, or cliques if you will. And then I see some people who aren’t sitting with a group. Wouldn’t they like to be included? But imagine me this. If crusade was a real crusade, a real army, and we were going into battle, battle against a large army. And we sent out little groups by group to fight. One clique at a time. Would they win? No. they would get slaughtered. And so would the next group, and the next, until we are all gone.

Now imagine if the entire campus crusade went at once? We would have a fighting chance, and probably (well, definitely) succeed.

This definitely applies to our current situation. Ive heard countless times, “hey are you going to go to (insert Christian event or mission trip here)?”

“well is (insert group friend name here) going?”

“I don’t think so.”

“yeah, I probably wont go”

so many times ive heard this.

Now how are we supposed to get anything done if we wont go unless our friends are going to be there? How can we win a war unless we know who we are fighting with?

We need to unite and fight! Fight the crusade!

And one way to solve this is to exit your comfort zone. Start up a small group with people you don’t know, and get to know them. Get in their lives. And they will get into yours. There is nothing more satisfying than someone who knows what you are dealing with, and is there to pray for you and help you through it. And our Campus Crusade here in Wayne is huge! Imagine if you knew, I mean really knew, almost everyone that attended? So much work would be allowed to happen on this campus. We would no longer have the stumbling blocks that are cliques. We would be one family. One body. One army to fight the crusade. The crusade for Christ.

What are we doing here?

Ecclesiastes is my Achilles heel. It always gets me depressed in a bittersweet way. It gives me a good understanding on what I should be doing, after I realize that im not doing that, and ive never been doing it. And this is why.

[chapter 1]
2 "Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless. 3 What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun?”
kind of grounding isn’t it? Everything we do “under the sun” (on earth) is meaningless. And “chasing after the wind”

16 I thought to myself, "Look, I have grown and increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge." 17 Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.


So I look at this, being at college, at a place of learning… and I think, if Solomon looked at all of his wisdom and knowledge and saw it to be meaningless, then what good will my education do?

Solomon supposedly wrote this book as he was looking over his life at an old age. And he is looking at all of his accomplishments, and seeing them as meaningless. Solomon was one of the smartest, wisest, and most knowledgeable men to ever live. And he looked at his knowledge as meaningless… so what will my education here at Wayne State College mean? It will mean NOTHING. Nothing, unless I am doing it for Christ.

And for me, that is what is grounding. If a man such as Solomon can look back at his accomplishments as a king, as a scholar, and as a man, and see that it was all meaningless unless he was doing it for God, then who am I to think that anything I do outside of doing it for Christ is of any significance?


“18 For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.”
This kind of comes around to how having the faith of a child is better than having the faith of a scholar. Children can grasp salvation and Jesus’ sacrifice pretty easily. But you don’t start to challenge that until you gain earthly knowledge. Now im not saying that challenging what you believe isn’t bad, because it reaffirms what you believe. But it still comes back to believing.

[Chapter 2]
“1 I thought in my heart, "Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good." But that also proved to be meaningless. 2 "Laughter," I said, "is foolish. And what does pleasure accomplish?"


Solomon goes on in chapter 2 to describe how he build great vineyards(2:4), gardens (2:3), had huge gatherings of livestock like no one has ever seen(2:7), and gathered a huge mass of gold and silver(2:8). And he did all of this while still keeping his wisdom.

[Chapter 2]
10 I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor.
11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.


Ho. Ly. Crap.

Talk about living the dream! Solomon had everything any man can dream of! Wives, Money, Gold, Wine, Wisdom, and a successful kingdom. And he looked at everything he accomplished and saw that it was meaningless.

[Chapter 2]
24 A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?
26 To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

[Chapter 9]
7 Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do. 8 Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. 9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun— all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. 10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, [c] where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.


So here, God is telling us to be happy with what we have. Be happy with our “lot” and give thanks to God for letting us have what we have.

[Chapter 11]
9 Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment.
10 So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless.



Whoa. To me, I have no idea what this means. Is this God telling us that our youth, the fun we have here at college watching movies, or playing Frisbee, or going to concerts, is worthless and a waste of time? Will we be judged because we used that time for our own folly, instead of using it to spread the Good News, and learning more about Him?

I really have no idea.

But the reason why I am writing this note, is because these are the things I struggle with day to day, and what makes me depressed a lot. So feel free to say what you want to help me, or correct me, or anything. Because I would really like some answers…

he goes to finish in chapter 12 with this

13 Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.
14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.

A gem I found in Titus

Titus 3

Doing What is Good

Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.

At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.

He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.


(emphasis added)

I just never really paid much attention to Titus before, so i decided to read through it, and i found this. its a good testament on Godly living, and how we are supposed to present ourselves... i know i struggle with this a lot.